Tiger Woods has appeared and spoken at last. His forum was carefully hand-picked and orchestrated as he took his first step back into the public spotlight.
Many have criticized the format, timing, and content of his remarks. My concern is not so pedestrian. I can forgive or explain the staged, no-questions venue among family and close friends and business associates. He had some accountability to these folks, and a mass face-to-face single encounter was certainly the most efficient, and probably otherwise acceptable. I won’t quibble with that assertion or whether he timed his remarks during Accenture’s World Match Play tourney in Tucson to taunt the first sponsor to turn tail and terminate his long, lucrative endorsement contract.
But the language of his apology, statement, mea culpa – call it what you will – is what surprised and concerned me. His words appeared to be apologizing for the equivalent of failing to come to a full stop at a stop sign before turning right on a desolate country road. Groveling and crying are not necessary. Proper words are. But Woods is clearly a product of our current secular society and was undoubtedly well-advised by public relations experts about which nouns and adjectives to deploy to describe repeated, salacious, disgusting, unadulterated adultery. Yes, adultery. Not unfaithfulness. Unfaithful is a term better suited to not maintaining a proper dietary or exercise regimen as opposed to committing a whopper of a sin.
Yes, sin. Not 'behavior.’ Behavior is merely an action. Sin is descriptive of the nature of an action, placing it in a unique separate and religiously-based realm, notably separation from God.
Words I believe more appropriately address Tiger’s transgressions would be undoubtedly viewed as highly-charged by many people. And that is the point of my point.
Without lashing him to within an inch of his life, let’s recognize his actions for what they were and not sugarcoat through the beauty of our modern-day, no-fault thesaurus from which many of us prefer to operate. We are surely more comfortable with Tiger’s word choices because they also provide us cover when we fall short of what we know is right, just, and proper.
Tiger talked about being irresponsible, selfish, not acceptable, foolish, and a personal disappointment. That is true, but his behavior was more than that and all of us – but most especially Tiger for his and his family’s sake – must recognize the severity of his sin. Try on these words: hideous, abominable, shameful, indefensible, unconscionable, depraved, despicable. In his defense, he did say he had affairs and cheated. That is a start. But such words seem rather clinical compared with the more proper adultery word, as in Thou Shalt Not Commit.
I will stop. I realize I am obsessing, and I apologize. My feelings may be due to how highly I regarded Tiger over the years as both an athlete and a person. I have written articles -- some serious, some silly -- about him and the game of golf. I excused his periodical profanity on the golf course in front of women, children, and the televised world. I rationalized the boorish behavior owing that he entered the pro ranks as a very young man – barely through adolescence – and had enormous pressure to perform. Given those circumstances, as unsavory as the swearing was, I felt it was small potatoes compared with the challenge he faced living in a worldwide fishbowl.
We all make mistakes. I certainly would not want mine publicized and then later be compelled to discuss them and have others judge – as I do here – whether the substance of my confession was adequate.
Perhaps the real lesson is that we all possess faults, some worse than others, and that we need to recognize that and then --- what? That’s the question. What to do? Repent is the answer. Turn away from the sin and temptation, head in the opposite direction.
Tiger’s statement certainly talks about repentance without using that word. I wish him and his wife and family well on this journey, which will likely be long, difficult, and painful.
We all face similar challenges regardless of the degree of our sins and shortcomings. Perhaps Tiger’s apology will actually make us – and him -- re-focus on what is right, just, and proper.
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Fred W. Apelquist, III, M.Ed.
Approximately 700 words
© February 22, 2010
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