YETMO

“Virginia is Number One”

Apologies to my kind Prince George County readers and other DC area Marylanders.

I regret to say that Virginia is obviously the number one place to live in the metro area. Perennial debate rages about whether the Maryland or Virginia suburbs are better. I’ve been on both sides of this argument, so I know of which I speak.

In the late 1960's I was a Prince George’s resident as a University of Maryland student and later as a raw workforce recruit in the early 1970's.

Back then I knew Virginia was my neighbor but I dared not venture across area bridges to observe the obvious evil awaiting there. Fellow Marylanders advised me of the ills of the Old Dominion. I had no reason to doubt them.

By the time 1980 arrived, I was die-hard Free Stater. Infrequent sorties over the years into northern Virginia confirmed my worst fears. It was filled with steel, concrete and congestion. Yuck! Who’d want to live there?

But my life took a turn for the worse, in ways which will remain unchronicled in this article, and I found myself a resident of Falls Church, Virginia.

Egads! I was in the hands of the enemy. After many unsettling months, I begrudgingly grew accustomed to my new home. A few short years later and I was converted.

Who’d want to live in Maryland? Whenever I’d have to return — and I always dreaded the occasion — I saw a region full of steel, concrete, and congestion.

Given that I’m an obviously a slow study, it took a while before I noticed the recurring theme. Steel, concrete, and congestion.

I used that same description years before to describe disparagingly my new beloved homeland. And that was years before traffic had grown into the real big mess it is today.

By 1990 I was at peace. I had reconciled myself to the realization that home is where you hang your hat and all that other sentimental stuff. It didn’t matter whether it was Maryland, Virginia, or the North Pole.

By now I changed my mind — again.

By coincidence — or was it destiny — I ran into my Lt. Governor, Don Beyer, at my podiatrist of all places. I earlier noticed a car with the license tag “1" with “Lt. Governor” written underneath.

After a harmless salutation, I asked him: Shouldn’t your license plate number been number two or are you being optimistic about your upcoming gubernatorial race?” I added: “If your tag is number one, what is Governor Allen’s?”

Mr. Beyer, graciously tolerating my banal assault, responded: “Virginia is interesting when it comes to license plates.. The Governor’s is “1,” too, but without the footnote. So is the Speaker’s of the House.”

Next year I’ll have to put in my request with the Department of Motor Vehicles: “1" with “Fred Apelquist” as the footnote below.

You see, this has led me to an amazing discovery. Virginia’s got to be the best place. Everybody who lives there is number one.