At last the Democratic Party nomination process is over. Hillary has conceded defeat to Barack Obama, the new golden boy of politics. Oops, one cannot say golden boy when referring to Barack. I mean, Barack, the new golden man of politics.
So, Mr. Barack will face John McCain, whom he will try to paint as a member of the good old boy network in Washington. Er, can one say boy when referring to the septuagenarian McCain? Certainly. He’s 100% white. Or so we think. In any case, he can be called whatever anyone wishes. Barack is the only one for whom certain phrases are clearly out-of-bounds, lest the one who utters the utterances be labeled racist.
If you believe that the general election will be about race and gender and concerns over the citizens of the United States being hopelessly bigoted and age-ist, sexist, and racist, you would be wrong.
Susan Sarandon, a highly-esteemed, beyond-words famous and talented star from Hollywood, has graciously helped us focus on what this election is really about. It is about where Ms. Sarandon will reside from January 20, 2009 through January 20, 2013 or maybe even through January 20, 2017, should Barack Obama not be elected as the next President of the United States. One place she will not live is in the United States. Maybe Canada or Italy, but not here.
Frankly, the stakes for this election could not be higher. Some mistakenly think that the economy, health care, jobs, education, Iraq, and immigration among other minor issues, are what the Fall contest should consider. Fortunately, Ms. Sarandon has done a service for the citizenry by greatly simplifying the essence of the election. It is she. It is her continued presence among us within these geographical borders.
Of course, it is impossible to read your thoughts and conclude how you feel about this development, but I, for one, am devastated. If Ms. Sarandon were not living in the U.S. during John McCain’s presidency, then all my thoughts would be consumed for every one of the 1,455 days that he remains in office about how quickly can 2012 arrive so Hillary can defeat him. Yet, that would raise another unexpected problem. Ms. Sarandon, a ‘true’ feminist who believes that gender should never intrude on objective thought, does not support Mrs. Clinton. Therefore, we must further concern ourselves about the esteemed actress. If Hillary comes back in 2012 and is elected, will Ms. Sarandon stay away for another four – or eight – more years?
Who could worry about such trivial matters as the national debt and our country’s stature in the world when Susan Sarandon would have left our shores? What if she decides to go one little step further and renounce her U.S. citizenship? Then where would we be?
This is serious stuff, and Ms. Sarandon has reminded us how critical it is to vote in November. The choice could not be clearer. Forget about the presidency. The election will determine whether Ms. Sarandon stays or goes.
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Fred W. Apelquist, III, M.Ed.
Approximately 505 words.
(c) June 8, 2008
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