First, Congressman Joe Wilson (Republican – South Carolina) blurts out that President Obama lies during his address to a joint session of Congress on Health Care Reform. Next, Representative Alan Grayson (Democrat - Florida) counters on the House floor that Republicans’ legislative agenda for health care is to expect – and wish – sick people die.
Lie and die. Bookends of a debate. Actually, this is no debate at all, and Mr. Wilson is certainly not the first to utter volatile barbs in public discourse, nor will Mr. Grayson be the last to fuel the flames of partisan pyres.
Reasons for such incivility are both crystal clear and opaque. Voters are understandably committed to and sensitive about issues affecting them. They are also prone to shooting themselves in the foot.
I could be the most wise, erudite, and wonderful person on the block or even in the Universe. But if I berate, bark, or blaspheme, my ability to change hearts and minds will cease immediately. And not only that: I will engender enmity towards me and those who think and feel as I do. This is hardly surprising, yet we scrape and scratch and browbeat as if that is the solution to bridging our philosophical divide.
Many issues are so deep and emotional that passion trumps reason and the brawling begins. Few of us are exempt from such human feelings and failings. Readers of my columns understand that I harbor strong feelings but try to curb them and inject balance. Some feel I fail to be totally unbiased and clinical, jeopardizing my mission to stimulate thought, debate, and introspection.
So it goes. We know what is effective (or not) in dealing with others, but often cannot control ourselves from spewing invectives that merely polarize.
Optimism is a wonderful word – and trait. Can we be optimistic that our differences will soon cease to be destructive? Will we be able to talk, listen, digest, and determine how best to govern ourselves in an ever-increasing diverse world?
One element behind belligerent blastings may be cable TV. With 13,943 stations televising content 24 hours a day, broadcasters must find a way to capture viewers’ attentions. So often when I channel-surf, looking for that 13,944th show that may be somewhat entertaining, helpful, or informative, all I see are chattering hosts and guests talking over one another, yelling, scoffing, deriding, insulting, and generally being extremely unpleasant.
Another factor behind this pitiful phenomenon may be our desire to be winners, to triumph over injustice, inaccuracy, and depravity. We wish to be conquerors, owners of the right way to live and think, to believe and pursue, and architects of the ideal society. Unfortunately, most of us feel that we are protecting such values even though our underlying philosophies are often diametrical opposites of others’ beliefs. If this is so, how is resolution possible?
We continue to bicker and fight because we cannot or will not attempt to understand each other’s viewpoint. We do not respect others’ desires, hopes, fears, and dreams.
Fear is our enemy. It prevents us from advancing as the accidental family that we all are. Legal or illegal, rich or poor, conservative or liberal, atheist or believer, we are fearful that offering such credence – respect – to another may result in reconsidering our viewpoints and even modifying them. What if I change my opinion? How does that affect relationships with friends and family? How does it affect the world in which I live? How will that change my lifestyle? How will I function in a different paradigm?
These are not trivial matters. They are foundational to who and what we are. They express our humanity.
Lie and die. We can lie to ourselves and die as embittered souls. Or we can consider others to be as worthy and decent as we presumably see ourselves.
Respect is the key. While unanimity of beliefs will elude us, respect will help achieve consensus, which is essential. Consensus is agreeing upon that which (virtually) everyone can accept or, at least, ‘live with.’
Or we can continue down the path of Joe Wilson and Alan Grayson, pick sides, draw battle lines, and lie as we prepare to die.
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Fred W. Apelquist, II, M.Ed.
Approximately 710 words.
© October 6, 2009
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YETMO: “You’re Entitled To My Opinion,” A Balanced Point of View
"To stimulate thought, debate, and introspection”