Today my lovely wife, Krystal, is 40 years old.
I'm tempted to tell her that 'you're not getting older, you're getting better,' but I've learned at my age not to use that phrase and 40 years old in the same sentence on any woman's birthday. After all, a ladies' hair coloring product immortalized that aphorism, so there's no percentage in taking that path.
How does one honor the birth of someone so special, loving, and extraordinary? Someone who gives more of herself for others than any 10 men I know combined. How can men adequately celebrate the womanhood of their women?
All I can do, as all my fellow men can do with their wives, fiancees, or girlfriends, is think carefully about the many and wonderful little gestures and acts that makes my woman unusual.
I've married the most wonderful and lovable person in the world. Of course, the other guys think that way about their partners, too, but I said it first.
Krystal's smile is like the early morning sun that brings comfort and warmth from the cold. It amazes me that after all these years wherever I see her grin or smile my insides still tingle. How does she do that?
Krystal's heart is like the Grand Canyon -- deep, wide, and majestic, and beautiful beyond compare. Her loving acts are legion to me and our children. The little things. Ah, the little things, which strung together end-to-end would easily transcend the Great Wall of China.
She tells me she loves me. Despite my forgetfulness and selfishness, she loves me. That kind act of adoring sustains me in this crazy world and probably has helped me avoid the abyss of despair to which many others have succumbed. There is simply nothing more uplifting, short of the love of God, than daily affirmation of your worth and value from another human being, especially one who is so uncommon.
Krystal has the unique ability to relate to and befriend all types of people. Her very human, yet calming and gentle demeanor, disarms all who talk to or see her. She possesses a quality that defies definition. In fact, it's not so much a trait as it is a state of being. When in Krystal's presence, one is relaxed, uplifted, and feels as though she's a long-time friend.
I know she loves me because she knows my faults so well and gives constructive feedback. She occasionally points out my talkativeness by saying, "never an unspoken thought." It's funny and true. It helps keep me balanced in an often unbalanced world.
She listens far more than she talks and, given my gabbiness, you know she's forced to listen -- a lot. As a result, she hears all my hopes and dreams and fears, and weeks or months later she'll say something or give me a gift that's relevant to something I uttered and forgot long ago. It's truly incredible that one person can do this so well and often and not just for me. She does it for our four children and her many friends.
So how does one esteem a woman on her 40th birthday, especially if she begins doubting herself and future? Forty can be fearsome. What looms around the corner? Crowsfeet? Menopause? A philandering husband?
So many poets over the centuries have proclaimed love far better than I'll ever be able. One recent song line comes to mind from the many: 'until the twelfth of never.' That's how long I'll love you, Krystal.
Happy birthday, honey. You're not getting older.
You're getting even better.
++++
Fred W. Apelquist, III, M.Ed.
Approximately 600 words.
(c) 1998