Some of us are taking the 'pursuit of happiness' which Thomas Jefferson penned to the extreme.
Have you ever noticed how concerned we are about being happy?
I can't help thinking what my ancestors who fought world wars and survived the Great Depression would have to say about this. Maybe happiness isn't what it's cracked up to be. Or maybe happiness is such a big deal simply because our lives are so easy and pampered.
I say expect the unexpected -- unrealistic and unconditional happiness on demand.
"Now, wait a minute Fred. You've gone to extremes," you might be saying. "We're not expecting or wanting more out of life than anyone else."
That may be true, but let's examine what we're all seeking in life. We have come to expect only one thing: everything. It's no longer important that we sustain ourselves. We must extend ourselves. We're entitled, and having all that goes with that concept is what we demand.
Why is this important? Because focusing on happiness rather than living and dealing with life inhibits people's abilities to deal with adversity. Take my adult son and another 20-something acquaintance I know. Both seem totally unable to deal with the slightest bumps in the road.
I can't speak about my acquaintance, but I can assure you that my son has heard about life's hard knocks for over a decade. I guess he didn't believe me, or didn't think they should have to apply to him.
That sounds like a cruel indictment but many of you reading this will tend to agree, even if you a member of the hedonistic Baby Boomer generation as I. Those who are part of the World War II generation, probably our young nation's greatest, will have already said "Amen!" at several points in this column.
It's all a matter of perspective. As long as teenagers expect a car upon receiving their drivers licenses -- and preferably a new one -- then we're going to remain bogged down in this societal quagmire for years to come.
I'm not advocating asceticism. There's nothing wrong with enjoying life and striving to be 'happy.' I'm just talking about balance. Happiness comes from within, not from gazing upon or having and using material contrivances like cars, stereos, high-paying jobs, etc.
Of course, unrealistic happiness expectations aren't limited merely to material entities. Folks foster them for their emotional beings as well. A friend recently decided after 10 years of marriage to announce that he was leaving his wife -- and 7-year old daughter -- on the latter's recent birthday. Forget the boorish timing for a moment. What does he think he'll find?
Divorce is not as big a deal nowadays. Half the population has done it. I've done it. And I can say that it is not a cure-all to what ails you. The essence of your emotional well-being and happiness lay singularly in your cranial lap, if I can mix metaphors. Changing partners doesn't necessarily improve your happiness quotient. Changing your attitude and expectations does.
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Fred W. Apelquist, III, M.Ed.
Approximately 500 words.
(c) 1999