President Bill Clinton has been talking a lot of heat recently about his $200 haircut. I believe that the man has been misunderstood.
Before he won that narrow 219-213 tax bill victory in the House, things hadn't been going his way. Bosnia was flaring up and he didn't seem to have a clear and feasible response; the White House travel office personnel were being investigated by the FBI for something or the other -- probably for booking rooms without private baths; and the country was worried about the cost of Hillary Rodham Clinton's health care reform package. Overall, times were tough in River City.
Under the circumstances, it is reasonable that the president would splurge on a special hair styling. This was not only a treat to himself after several hard months in office but also a personal way to stimulate the economy. His official "economic stimulus" package was getting nowhere fast at the time. I think he just decided to take things into his own hands.
Sure, a $200 haircut by itself isn't going to get the economy back on track again. But it's a start. Imagine if every man in the United States of haircutting age follows the president's lead. That's about $20 billion pumped into the economy every few weeks. About $200 billion a year. Not bad. Perhaps the president isn't as crazy as many folks believe. Think of all the cosmetician jobs this creates. And if you consider that the president is seen by millions of people all over the world, who wouldn't want the leader of the free world to have the best possible coiffure. It just wouldn't "do" to have anything less.
Not to be outdone by the men, women would likely counter with their own $200 hairdo's. They may even be willing to pay $300. After all, their hair tends to be a bit longer and requires more care and attention. That's another $300 billion a year.
So you see, this silly $200 haircut might be the spark for some $500 billion of economic stimulus every year. Pretty smart.
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Fred W. Apelquist, III, M. Ed.
Approximately 350 words.
© 1993